Grass Roots

Last week was the Student Council election at my daughters' school. Each class elects 1 boy and 1 girl. J, our 3rd grader, decided she would like to run. She elicited the help of her older sister since she had run previously (winning in 4th grade but not 5th or 6th). J was very diligent and wrote a short but thoughtful speech to present to her class. M did help with some ideas but in the end it was J who carefully wrote it out on a 3 x 5 card. It basically said 'I will be a good representative for our class.' (she really used that word.) 'I will take any ideas from our class and present them to the Student Council. I will also keep our class informed of what we are doing in Student Council. I am responsible and will listen.'

I walked to meet the girls on the day of 3rd grade elections. J was deflated, frustrated, sad and angry. I knew things weren't what she had hoped for. 'Aw, J, I'm so sorry you didn't win. I know you had such a good speech and I am so proud of you for trying.'

'Mom! I am so MAD! I don't even want to talk about it!'

'J, I'm sorry. How many kids ran for the election?'

'Mom! About half the class ran! But do you know who won!?!'

'No. Tell me who.'

'Robert* and Fredericka*!' 'Mom! Do you know why they won? Mom! They were the two kids who brought candy for the whole class! All Fredericka said in her speech was 'Vote for me! Vote for me!'

At this point I can feel the anger swelling up inside and my face turning red. What the FUCK is wrong with those parents who allow their kids to deal in such backhanded politics!

What I said was, 'Wow. That really does not sound fair. It seems like they cheated, doesn't it? I am so sorry, J.'

'Mom, Mrs. Whatzit* even said to me several time that I had a very good speech! I am just so MAD!'

Anger welling inside. Must protect daughter. Must allow her to learn tough lesson. DAMN it!

And now that they have set the bar so low, future elections will require each candidate to provide some sort of bribery with the votes going to the best bribe. Way to go, stupid-ass parents.

You can tell I am still mad about this. I want to say to the teacher, 'Okay, it's too late for this year, but perhaps you should not allow bribes for student council elections. What about the children who want to win on their own merits? What about the children whose parents can't afford treats for the whole class? Let's not lower ourselves to the lowest common denominator here.'

BTW, I asked M, my worldly 6th grader, if she had ever had this happen or heard of this candy bribery happening in any other election and she said 'No.' She said she was going to bring it up to HER representative to discuss at Student Council.

*Names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.

[Afterword: I am probably not the only one to make the connection between bribes with candy and Sarah Palin. Hopefully, though, voters will get a real taste of the candy before the election and find out that Palin is really one of those Mega Warheads sour candies that looks really sweet but once you put it in your mouth it's so bad you have to spit it out.]